Yes fellow Bloggers it IS that time again. Barbie's time to shine. Sometimes life is so fast-paced that one gets lost in the tornado twists and twirls. My posts never seem to come with normal stories. I guess that's what makes me the bubblegum princess.
But enough with the boring intro as I'm sure what really attracts you here is that beefy middle section story. My weekend has been nothing short of insane.
Of course I must thank my gorgeous ladies/heterosexual life partners for the continued excitement and posting material. And I can not forget to mention my good friend alcohol who keeps me constantly on my toes.
Being a lightweight in the world of drinking has it's perks. I don't spend as much money to get a little "intoxicated" and by this I mean rip-roaring drunk. And alcohol tends to flip my personality from a moderately shy submissive woman to an extremely outgoing dominating hellcat. With this being said when I choose to drink very interesting things happen.
This plastic princess is very impressed by a certain Murphey's. Not only were my beers cheap, but the music and general atmosphere was awesome. My ladies and I were lucky enough to get a table, even though the bar turned into a shoulder to shoulder endeavor. I had promised a blog dedicated to my thoughts from Murphey's. The disclaimer to what you are about to read is simply this, if you can't handle the truth... click the red X and save the tears... This means you fatties!!!
Ok so here goes. In my highly intoxicated state I decided to comment on some of the outfits women were wearing at the bar. A direct quote from the night was "I may be a bitch, but at least I'm honest." Deep inside me I have this real disgust for fat people. Maybe because I have always been athletic and always been thin. Keeping ones body in shape is by no means easy. There are certain sacrifices that have to happen. Fat people also piss me off. They want me to feel sorry for them because they aren't attractive enough to get dates. Frankly I just want to say "FUCK OFF" to those people. Being fat for the most part is not genetic, granted there are always a few cases (and to these people I don't mean you). No this blog is condemning those people that go out and eat ice cream and candy and fast food everyday and then sit on their asses watching TV or on the internet. No wonder you are getting fat you lazy bums. Life is about moderation. Eating like a pig and sitting on your ass doesn't cut it. Oh and then these "fat, lazy people" come to bars to try and be social. Not only do they drink shitloads of beer increasing their rolls and pooches, but they wear the tightest skankalicious clothing known to mankind. Case in point there was a girl that I saw in which I turned to my ladies and said. "Look at that girl she looks like a fat mermaid you should stop eating so much fish you hoe." I don't feel the need to sugarcoat anything to anyone. That girl should have been on a treadmill not in a social place forcing people to look at her lard. Can we say vomit forms in mouth.
Another example I can come up with is people at the beach. The dreaded swimsuit season. Some people should never be allowed in speedos or bikinis. We don't want to see this access skin. Some of these people are so fat I have no idea how they could even have sex. If I ever reach a time in my life where I got to be this extreme I'd kick my own ass. Someday I might dedicated a full blog to the fat and lazy, but the weekend has more to it then worrying about those that won't get laid.
Murphey's despite the ugly fat people was a good time. We did drunkenly create a sex chug. For every beer I decided to chug everyone at our table chanted sex...SEx....SEX louder and louder. It was hot. I did meet a dashing man. He was quite the southern gentleman. I will keep Blogland posted as to what happens with him.
As this blog was promised I hope it was enjoyed as always.
"You stay classy San Diego" -Anchorman
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Disbelief aka Day of Reckoning
Yo Yo Yo Cyberspace!!! This may seem like a happy welcoming greeting, but let me assure you I am not in the best of spirits at the current moment in time. While life can be very exciting it can also blow up in your face. And I'm talking about the D-Day ending ATOMIC blast of Barbie's exsistance. Before you jump to many conclusions I'm still no baby's momma. For those that need it spelled out, no i am not pregnant but as I was reading what I was typing it kinda looked like that's where I was headed.
No my D-Day has to do with business people who are flaky. It's bad enough when a dude acts like this and if you need a reference see my first post ever. I spend a whole paragraph on said "dating flake.*
I now have the personal pleasure of describing the professional flake who is worse then stupid boy flake. This is the flake who conducts a business by the seat of their pants. They like to come off as the "nice guy." When really they have no concept as to how to deal with fairly serious situations. Then when they get into a bind, to save their own skin they literally take a poo on you. While it would be completely unethical and unprofessional to give a name to this person i will dedicate this post to the "UNPROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL." The problem lies in the management. I'm sure I am not the only person who has ever felt like this. Personally I am frustrated at the lack of respect bestowed upon me.
While I understand the circumstances. You are permitted to call me female Einstein. I also have a 10th sense for these types of situations. As much effort as I put into whatever it is that I am referring to I was never given the proper direction. While I can make it up as I go along, this is no way to go about my day. It has frustrated me to no end. At least I can look for something better then that. As I deserve better.
My problem with many people these days is that they severely lack communication skills. I would expect that someone much older then me would have more life experience and therefore be able to express themselves maturely. Truly this is not the case. People act like they are 2 years old. I picked 2 because it is the terrible year for most parents. A lot of the time I feel like I am surrounded by adults who are really "children." They have no concept of the term "grow up."
While I have the right to be irately mad and wish the fires of hades on certain people I feel that I will be the bigger person. This is all I can do. My hope is that in the future I can find something more stable. As this is what I am truly after, stability.
I have no idea why this concept is so hard to come by. It seems easy enough. Work hard, play hard.
I that person sitting here blogging wanting someone to throw me a freaking bone. Sheesh!
"You take the blue pill, the story ends and you wake up believing whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland and i show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes." Matrix
No my D-Day has to do with business people who are flaky. It's bad enough when a dude acts like this and if you need a reference see my first post ever. I spend a whole paragraph on said "dating flake.*
I now have the personal pleasure of describing the professional flake who is worse then stupid boy flake. This is the flake who conducts a business by the seat of their pants. They like to come off as the "nice guy." When really they have no concept as to how to deal with fairly serious situations. Then when they get into a bind, to save their own skin they literally take a poo on you. While it would be completely unethical and unprofessional to give a name to this person i will dedicate this post to the "UNPROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL." The problem lies in the management. I'm sure I am not the only person who has ever felt like this. Personally I am frustrated at the lack of respect bestowed upon me.
While I understand the circumstances. You are permitted to call me female Einstein. I also have a 10th sense for these types of situations. As much effort as I put into whatever it is that I am referring to I was never given the proper direction. While I can make it up as I go along, this is no way to go about my day. It has frustrated me to no end. At least I can look for something better then that. As I deserve better.
My problem with many people these days is that they severely lack communication skills. I would expect that someone much older then me would have more life experience and therefore be able to express themselves maturely. Truly this is not the case. People act like they are 2 years old. I picked 2 because it is the terrible year for most parents. A lot of the time I feel like I am surrounded by adults who are really "children." They have no concept of the term "grow up."
While I have the right to be irately mad and wish the fires of hades on certain people I feel that I will be the bigger person. This is all I can do. My hope is that in the future I can find something more stable. As this is what I am truly after, stability.
I have no idea why this concept is so hard to come by. It seems easy enough. Work hard, play hard.
I that person sitting here blogging wanting someone to throw me a freaking bone. Sheesh!
"You take the blue pill, the story ends and you wake up believing whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland and i show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes." Matrix
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Livin It up in DC
Good Afternoon Cyberspace,
My week has slowed down enough to have time to update my tales. I defintely have a few things to get off my chest. So *takes deep breath* here goes.
Basically my woes are with DC. Yes the good ole' nations capitol has let me down. It's not that DC isn't a good time. Most of my adventures there turn out to be quite lovely. But, for a directionally impaired lady such as myself navigating can be quite annoying. Case in point last Sunday my company hosted a tailgate at the Washington Nationals Game. Since I am flying solo these days I invited my woman for a ladies only date.
She gets to my house about 20 mins before the food was begining to be served. Plenty of time to get to RFK right? Well it is if Mapquest doesnt get you lost. I printed out driving directions so that we could make it to the game sometime in this millenium. So we follow them religiously. Where do they lead us? Into a Navy infested crap smelling yard. Have you ever noticed how bad things can smell? I mean REAKING of fith. I think that they had dead bodies everywhere or something.
Needless to say the areas that we drove around were not that nice looking. I'm glad to report that we did infact make it to the stadium an hour and 20 mins later in time to scarf down some food. I swear I had the best chocolate chip cookies ever made. It was at the picnic that I decided to chug a glass of "Barefoot" wine. My lady was doing well with her beer, but did end up drinking some red wine as well.
All of a sudden there were fireworks and a baseball game going on. Personally I'm not a big baseball fan. But, being tipsy at the game was amusing. I sent out random text messages of pictures of the field. I don't know why I did. Sometimes I just spontaneously decide to do interesting things. I really wanted to ask the hot lemonade man with the $5 on his shirt if that cost was for him. Hee hee hee I know I know bad me. All in all the day was pretty fun.
Will I be driving through DC any time soon? Probably not... I'm thinking Metro from now on!!! LOL
My week has slowed down enough to have time to update my tales. I defintely have a few things to get off my chest. So *takes deep breath* here goes.
Basically my woes are with DC. Yes the good ole' nations capitol has let me down. It's not that DC isn't a good time. Most of my adventures there turn out to be quite lovely. But, for a directionally impaired lady such as myself navigating can be quite annoying. Case in point last Sunday my company hosted a tailgate at the Washington Nationals Game. Since I am flying solo these days I invited my woman for a ladies only date.
She gets to my house about 20 mins before the food was begining to be served. Plenty of time to get to RFK right? Well it is if Mapquest doesnt get you lost. I printed out driving directions so that we could make it to the game sometime in this millenium. So we follow them religiously. Where do they lead us? Into a Navy infested crap smelling yard. Have you ever noticed how bad things can smell? I mean REAKING of fith. I think that they had dead bodies everywhere or something.
Needless to say the areas that we drove around were not that nice looking. I'm glad to report that we did infact make it to the stadium an hour and 20 mins later in time to scarf down some food. I swear I had the best chocolate chip cookies ever made. It was at the picnic that I decided to chug a glass of "Barefoot" wine. My lady was doing well with her beer, but did end up drinking some red wine as well.
All of a sudden there were fireworks and a baseball game going on. Personally I'm not a big baseball fan. But, being tipsy at the game was amusing. I sent out random text messages of pictures of the field. I don't know why I did. Sometimes I just spontaneously decide to do interesting things. I really wanted to ask the hot lemonade man with the $5 on his shirt if that cost was for him. Hee hee hee I know I know bad me. All in all the day was pretty fun.
Will I be driving through DC any time soon? Probably not... I'm thinking Metro from now on!!! LOL
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Finer Things
Ok so I admit it. I am a girl that loves to speak her mind, but I have a horrid time keeping up daily with a blog. So many quirky and unexplainable things happen to me on an hourly basis and I create these wonderful posts in my head. And then nothing happens. They stay a jumbled bunch of thoughts wasting away in my subconscious. Truely this is a travesty. I like to feel that a good rant here and there not only is soup for my soul, but pure comedy for those that try and understand me.
Let me be frank. Women are nuts. You can call me a walnut as they are my favorite kind, but none-the-less we are out of our minds. Most of us will never admit to this. Me, I could give two poo-poos what you think of me. I'm laying my cards straight down on the table. I have no shame because at this point in my life I love myself. That's right I am in a relationship with loving little ole' me, myself, and I. If I could marry another me, that was not obviously me I would. And we would be happy together so happy together.
The funny thing is I don't think I completely understand me. I think it takes a lifetime to really get to know anyone and even then it scratches the surface of who they really are. I'm going to just state for the record that if women are nuts, People in general are a mystery. What is it that drives anyone to do anything. Is it innate and primal nature? Do we follow some sort of master plan that our gene pool creates? Is it even possible to march to ones own drummer? Who in the hell came up with that statement and why were they so obessed with drums?
These are questions that will probably never be answered for me. Someday I'll come close to the truth and then I'll realize for every step forward in my Indiana Jones quest for knowledge I'll blondely take 6 steps back.
To keep things in proper perspective. This post is not aimed at making women sound incapable of sanity. In the contrary it is my belief that many decisions made by emotionally driven women end up being the road most followed. As proud as any man can be in trying to sound correct they sure lose so called reason to "the look." Every woman has it. The ability to turn a man into putty simply by looking at him. Remember when I said women are nuts. Add the term powerful to that.
It has been said that many women are pushovers. I would like to offer a different perspective. Men are easy. If a women has any inkling as to how to properly use their sexuality they will get their way. A trick of the trade is to make any given man feel like he is in control. This does not mean he is actually in control, it means that the one with the upperhand in the situation is you. A smart well-educated wome uses this to her advantage. She will be very compromising within the given male/female relationship. On the outside this can be viewed as weakness. On the inside it is the woman calling all the shots.
I am not sitting here suggesting that this is some sort of game. I myself am sick and tired of drama. My point is simply that in being more passive a woman can really get into ones head. Aggression fails in getting people to take you seriously because it pisses one off. With agressive behavior there is a clear winner and loser. Life is not this black and white. The loser will forever resent the winner. I feel that a truely smart women understands the balance that has to exsist. They can create a relationship where there is no winner/loser combo. It is simply gray. Each person can feel good about where they stand.
As far as me barbie goes, I'm a work in process. I think it's taken me some time to "see the light". And before you start to go plan my funeral not the bright white one. My light is of course pink and rosey. Those happy glasses. That's another interesting question. Who invented the term rosey colored glasses? And is that term very different from "beer goggles." My gut answer is no. One is supossedly love-struck, the other is beer-struck or induced. Both claim to cause very painful experiences. AKA some male decided that these terms equaled an excuse for horrid behavior. Then some jaded women agreed. Oh the vicious webs we weave.
Wow, this post has gone places I wasn't expecting to go.
I sat down with an idea to write about a company that I billed yesterday that really tickled my fancy. Which I will still spotlight as I think they deserve my standing ovation. They litterally caused me to laugh out loud when i typed their information. Mostly because it was the type of name that makes you think is this serious? As a custumer I can't honestly say I would take a "special" company like this serious. But I digress and I have kept you in suspense long enough. The lucky company that now has merited a mention in my blog is...Drum roll please....
DUMB TOURIST INC. And yes you just read that correctly. They are a legitimate company based from DC. You can check out their website (www.dumbtourist.us)
Barbie- (Big Chuckle followed by a hearty Tee hee hee)
My Boss- What's so funny?
Barbie- Did you see this bill? It's hilarious.
My Boss- No, what bill?
Barbie- ( Highlights the company name with a pink highligher. Hands him the sheet.)
My Boss- Wow, there's a company with this name.
Barbie- (Laughs again. Almost uncontroably) Would you ever take a company with this name seriously?
My Boss- Well as long as they pay us... No can't say I would.
Barbie- Just think. It's this gorgeous day. Someone visiting from China is walking on the mall. They see a sign posted. It says *Come do business with us, Dumb Tourist* What a welcome to America. (Giggles)
My Boss- Yea this company isn't the smartest tool in the box. And you have a very fun imagination.
Barbie- This has made my day!
I was curious as a kitty as to what they actually did. So I went to check their website out and was highly disapointed. Instead of being a fairly obvious company dealing with real tourists it was the name of an advertising company. I can make my new blog adds with Dumb Tourist. Whoopie! I can hardly contain myself I'm so overjoyed *inserted heavy sarcasim* I will say that I still completely think that my day was made though.
In other news and going along with the finer things theme. I have introduced my co-worker to sushi. I am happy to report that he loved it. I may just have a lunch buddy now. Sushi is super awesome. I just can't get over the deliciousness that hits my palate. My love of sushi could be a blog in itself so I think I'll save that for a rainy day. For now I feel that I should attempt to do some work.
"A Dream is a wish your heart makes... Have faith in your dreams cause someday your rainbow will come shinning through."
Let me be frank. Women are nuts. You can call me a walnut as they are my favorite kind, but none-the-less we are out of our minds. Most of us will never admit to this. Me, I could give two poo-poos what you think of me. I'm laying my cards straight down on the table. I have no shame because at this point in my life I love myself. That's right I am in a relationship with loving little ole' me, myself, and I. If I could marry another me, that was not obviously me I would. And we would be happy together so happy together.
The funny thing is I don't think I completely understand me. I think it takes a lifetime to really get to know anyone and even then it scratches the surface of who they really are. I'm going to just state for the record that if women are nuts, People in general are a mystery. What is it that drives anyone to do anything. Is it innate and primal nature? Do we follow some sort of master plan that our gene pool creates? Is it even possible to march to ones own drummer? Who in the hell came up with that statement and why were they so obessed with drums?
These are questions that will probably never be answered for me. Someday I'll come close to the truth and then I'll realize for every step forward in my Indiana Jones quest for knowledge I'll blondely take 6 steps back.
To keep things in proper perspective. This post is not aimed at making women sound incapable of sanity. In the contrary it is my belief that many decisions made by emotionally driven women end up being the road most followed. As proud as any man can be in trying to sound correct they sure lose so called reason to "the look." Every woman has it. The ability to turn a man into putty simply by looking at him. Remember when I said women are nuts. Add the term powerful to that.
It has been said that many women are pushovers. I would like to offer a different perspective. Men are easy. If a women has any inkling as to how to properly use their sexuality they will get their way. A trick of the trade is to make any given man feel like he is in control. This does not mean he is actually in control, it means that the one with the upperhand in the situation is you. A smart well-educated wome uses this to her advantage. She will be very compromising within the given male/female relationship. On the outside this can be viewed as weakness. On the inside it is the woman calling all the shots.
I am not sitting here suggesting that this is some sort of game. I myself am sick and tired of drama. My point is simply that in being more passive a woman can really get into ones head. Aggression fails in getting people to take you seriously because it pisses one off. With agressive behavior there is a clear winner and loser. Life is not this black and white. The loser will forever resent the winner. I feel that a truely smart women understands the balance that has to exsist. They can create a relationship where there is no winner/loser combo. It is simply gray. Each person can feel good about where they stand.
As far as me barbie goes, I'm a work in process. I think it's taken me some time to "see the light". And before you start to go plan my funeral not the bright white one. My light is of course pink and rosey. Those happy glasses. That's another interesting question. Who invented the term rosey colored glasses? And is that term very different from "beer goggles." My gut answer is no. One is supossedly love-struck, the other is beer-struck or induced. Both claim to cause very painful experiences. AKA some male decided that these terms equaled an excuse for horrid behavior. Then some jaded women agreed. Oh the vicious webs we weave.
Wow, this post has gone places I wasn't expecting to go.
I sat down with an idea to write about a company that I billed yesterday that really tickled my fancy. Which I will still spotlight as I think they deserve my standing ovation. They litterally caused me to laugh out loud when i typed their information. Mostly because it was the type of name that makes you think is this serious? As a custumer I can't honestly say I would take a "special" company like this serious. But I digress and I have kept you in suspense long enough. The lucky company that now has merited a mention in my blog is...Drum roll please....
DUMB TOURIST INC. And yes you just read that correctly. They are a legitimate company based from DC. You can check out their website (www.dumbtourist.us)
Barbie- (Big Chuckle followed by a hearty Tee hee hee)
My Boss- What's so funny?
Barbie- Did you see this bill? It's hilarious.
My Boss- No, what bill?
Barbie- ( Highlights the company name with a pink highligher. Hands him the sheet.)
My Boss- Wow, there's a company with this name.
Barbie- (Laughs again. Almost uncontroably) Would you ever take a company with this name seriously?
My Boss- Well as long as they pay us... No can't say I would.
Barbie- Just think. It's this gorgeous day. Someone visiting from China is walking on the mall. They see a sign posted. It says *Come do business with us, Dumb Tourist* What a welcome to America. (Giggles)
My Boss- Yea this company isn't the smartest tool in the box. And you have a very fun imagination.
Barbie- This has made my day!
I was curious as a kitty as to what they actually did. So I went to check their website out and was highly disapointed. Instead of being a fairly obvious company dealing with real tourists it was the name of an advertising company. I can make my new blog adds with Dumb Tourist. Whoopie! I can hardly contain myself I'm so overjoyed *inserted heavy sarcasim* I will say that I still completely think that my day was made though.
In other news and going along with the finer things theme. I have introduced my co-worker to sushi. I am happy to report that he loved it. I may just have a lunch buddy now. Sushi is super awesome. I just can't get over the deliciousness that hits my palate. My love of sushi could be a blog in itself so I think I'll save that for a rainy day. For now I feel that I should attempt to do some work.
"A Dream is a wish your heart makes... Have faith in your dreams cause someday your rainbow will come shinning through."
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Working Barbie
Hello again online bloggers. It's been a few days since I last posted as I wanted to let my dating disasters sink in. But, today i have a much different topic. And that is the workforce. I am a full-time employee at a very nice establishment and as I do what I do day in and day out it seems only fair to assess my situation.
First of all I would like to make an observation. I have been told by numerous "adult-type" people that the age range of people entering the workforce is considerably younger. Personally I have not experienced this concept at all. In fact, most of the people in my office are mid 30's and older. It took me 3 months of searching to even land a job after graduation. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones. A good friend of mine is just now entering the "real world." I am excited for her and know the burden that has been lifted. Ah making end's meat.
Although I have only been with my company for about a month I have finally started to really get a feel for what I do. It's funny the dynamics of any given job. It's completely odd and exciting the different types of people that create my working family. And I call them just that. A family. Have you ever noticed that the people that you deal with on a daily basis really get to see you. And I mean the good, bad, and possibly ugly. Sure there is the professional facade. The time in your job that you act a certain way such as when your boss is lingering over your shoulder critiquing every call that you make or message that you take.
But then as the saying goes, when the cat's away the mice will play. My working environment is so relaxed. I can wear jeans, sandals, and a T-shirt as long as it's in good taste. I listen to whatever music that I want, I can even chat on AIM when I'm not too swamped. My boss is very personable, helpful, and organized. Hes a cute (short) bald man in glasses. He is also the Vice President of the company. I actually look forward to our interactions daily. Instead of this big scary boss mine is like a surrogate father.
There are many fun employees at my office, three of whom love to flirt with me. I tolerate it being that it is all in fun and I know that they are completely harmless and quite married. That's another thing about our work family. They all have long term loves. Makes me a little jealous.
Anyways getting back to the office. Being in such a diverse setting it's fun to interact with all these people that I would normally never really go out of my way to befriend. We have a company outing coming up. I can't wait to kick back drink some beer and see the Nationals play. I have also been asked to teach some golf.
In closing I guess I just really love my job at this current moment. The workforce is not as scary as I have assumed it would be.
My life continues to be full of random twists and turns, but that's how I like it.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!"
First of all I would like to make an observation. I have been told by numerous "adult-type" people that the age range of people entering the workforce is considerably younger. Personally I have not experienced this concept at all. In fact, most of the people in my office are mid 30's and older. It took me 3 months of searching to even land a job after graduation. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones. A good friend of mine is just now entering the "real world." I am excited for her and know the burden that has been lifted. Ah making end's meat.
Although I have only been with my company for about a month I have finally started to really get a feel for what I do. It's funny the dynamics of any given job. It's completely odd and exciting the different types of people that create my working family. And I call them just that. A family. Have you ever noticed that the people that you deal with on a daily basis really get to see you. And I mean the good, bad, and possibly ugly. Sure there is the professional facade. The time in your job that you act a certain way such as when your boss is lingering over your shoulder critiquing every call that you make or message that you take.
But then as the saying goes, when the cat's away the mice will play. My working environment is so relaxed. I can wear jeans, sandals, and a T-shirt as long as it's in good taste. I listen to whatever music that I want, I can even chat on AIM when I'm not too swamped. My boss is very personable, helpful, and organized. Hes a cute (short) bald man in glasses. He is also the Vice President of the company. I actually look forward to our interactions daily. Instead of this big scary boss mine is like a surrogate father.
There are many fun employees at my office, three of whom love to flirt with me. I tolerate it being that it is all in fun and I know that they are completely harmless and quite married. That's another thing about our work family. They all have long term loves. Makes me a little jealous.
Anyways getting back to the office. Being in such a diverse setting it's fun to interact with all these people that I would normally never really go out of my way to befriend. We have a company outing coming up. I can't wait to kick back drink some beer and see the Nationals play. I have also been asked to teach some golf.
In closing I guess I just really love my job at this current moment. The workforce is not as scary as I have assumed it would be.
My life continues to be full of random twists and turns, but that's how I like it.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!"
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Dating Don'ts the EX EFFECT
Hello Fellow Bloggers. I am pleased to be joining the ranks of the those that share their innermost thoughts in cyberspace. First let me properly introduce myself. I am A Barbie Girl in A Barbie World. What I mean by this is that in knowing how fake society is I am another young women drowning in the utter abyss that is life.
This post is directed specifically at the "dating scene." Today millions of fish in the sea are searching for their special counterpart. Or are they? It seems to me that my generation are highly lacking the social skills to pull off being nice, or god-forbid jump into a healthy meaningful relationship. So in light of this crazy concept of the *non-date* I wanted to share some personal stories of woe.
First of all as a woman I must confess that the caliber of men that I run into on a daily basis is highly lacking. Most of them do not have the balls to even have a bullshit conversation, let alone hold my attention span for more then 30 seconds. It's like they have half a brain.
I don't quite know how to type the right words per-say, but any man worth persuing has to be aggressive. We women want a man that is going to say what's really on his mind and speak up for himself. But, we also want a man who can be sensitive to our needs and talk to us about things that are deep.
Here is my first story of dating DON'TS...
Recently I met a guy that seemed normal enough. We went to a bar with my friends. He was very Nice as went the general consensus. But he was like having a damn lap-dog. Everywhere I went, he went. It's like he was trying to become my siamease twin. I am an individual and need my bubble to not be invaded.
I tell this gentleman that I will call him the next weekend sometime to hang out. Friday comes along and what happens. He calls me. Pretty early in the afternoon, leaves a message complaining that he's bored. OK so his boredom is not my problem. He has other friends so why is he trying to merge into my circle. Plus I told him I'd call him. Folks I mean what I say so I of course went along with my day. He calls again at like 10 pm that night. BAD FORM!!! So Saturday rolls around. I'm in bed chilling. He calls me around noon. No message. Calls me again at 7pm. I'm thinking what a stalker. Granted it is still the weekend and I did say that I was going to call. Now it's Sunday. I'm getting ready to call him back. He beats me to the punch, called when I was in the shower. Leaves a very pathetic message saying he can't believe I lied to him. At this point he has officially pissed me off. New verdict, no my friends I am definitely not calling him back. Stalking someone is not sexy, it's just plain freaky. DON'T DO IT!!!
Story Number 2 Deals with "Down-Syndromed Monkey Boy". Most of the time he looks so drugged out it's absolutely replusive. In fact, the sight of him makes me sick to my stomach. This particular winner feels that in every situation he is some sort of victim. He views life as this means to an end. He has flat out said he doesn't plan on living past 40 and what's the point. The really sad and pathetic part of this tragic paragraph is that I actually wasted my time caring about someone like this. DON'T put up with anyone's bullshit. DON'T let them make you feel that you are wrong in how you act, think, or feel. This is the classic story of opposites that should never attract. Maybe the *vomit that forms in my mouth* could have been avoided many years ago.
This next don't I hold dear to my heart. The Flake. The guy who calls you up at 2 or 3 in the morning drunk for a booty call. But, then when you call him in proper lady-like hours in the day, he never answers his phone. Not only that but you get sent to a full voice mailbox. What other sketchy things could this "gentleman" be doing that his voice mail is full and you only hear from him while under the influence. This guy always seems to somehow get pissed off when you decline his advances and stay in your own bed. DON'T sell yourself short of what you deserve and its not him.
Finally in this edition I feel like honoring the easy lay. The recyclable and reusable ex that degrades themselves to your every whim. You call this fellow up and he's at your door in the blink of an eye. This guy has no self-respect and tries to forever get you back into a carebear relationship. He will even cry and degrade himself in front of you. DON'T date a pussy ladies. You already have your own, you don't need a second.
This is coming from a lady who is completely straight and loves the cock. So Strictly Dickly is the way to be for me.
In signing out I only have these words of wisdom
"Lollipop, Lollipop, oh Lolly, Lolly, Lolly... LOLLYPOP"
This post is directed specifically at the "dating scene." Today millions of fish in the sea are searching for their special counterpart. Or are they? It seems to me that my generation are highly lacking the social skills to pull off being nice, or god-forbid jump into a healthy meaningful relationship. So in light of this crazy concept of the *non-date* I wanted to share some personal stories of woe.
First of all as a woman I must confess that the caliber of men that I run into on a daily basis is highly lacking. Most of them do not have the balls to even have a bullshit conversation, let alone hold my attention span for more then 30 seconds. It's like they have half a brain.
I don't quite know how to type the right words per-say, but any man worth persuing has to be aggressive. We women want a man that is going to say what's really on his mind and speak up for himself. But, we also want a man who can be sensitive to our needs and talk to us about things that are deep.
Here is my first story of dating DON'TS...
Recently I met a guy that seemed normal enough. We went to a bar with my friends. He was very Nice as went the general consensus. But he was like having a damn lap-dog. Everywhere I went, he went. It's like he was trying to become my siamease twin. I am an individual and need my bubble to not be invaded.
I tell this gentleman that I will call him the next weekend sometime to hang out. Friday comes along and what happens. He calls me. Pretty early in the afternoon, leaves a message complaining that he's bored. OK so his boredom is not my problem. He has other friends so why is he trying to merge into my circle. Plus I told him I'd call him. Folks I mean what I say so I of course went along with my day. He calls again at like 10 pm that night. BAD FORM!!! So Saturday rolls around. I'm in bed chilling. He calls me around noon. No message. Calls me again at 7pm. I'm thinking what a stalker. Granted it is still the weekend and I did say that I was going to call. Now it's Sunday. I'm getting ready to call him back. He beats me to the punch, called when I was in the shower. Leaves a very pathetic message saying he can't believe I lied to him. At this point he has officially pissed me off. New verdict, no my friends I am definitely not calling him back. Stalking someone is not sexy, it's just plain freaky. DON'T DO IT!!!
Story Number 2 Deals with "Down-Syndromed Monkey Boy". Most of the time he looks so drugged out it's absolutely replusive. In fact, the sight of him makes me sick to my stomach. This particular winner feels that in every situation he is some sort of victim. He views life as this means to an end. He has flat out said he doesn't plan on living past 40 and what's the point. The really sad and pathetic part of this tragic paragraph is that I actually wasted my time caring about someone like this. DON'T put up with anyone's bullshit. DON'T let them make you feel that you are wrong in how you act, think, or feel. This is the classic story of opposites that should never attract. Maybe the *vomit that forms in my mouth* could have been avoided many years ago.
This next don't I hold dear to my heart. The Flake. The guy who calls you up at 2 or 3 in the morning drunk for a booty call. But, then when you call him in proper lady-like hours in the day, he never answers his phone. Not only that but you get sent to a full voice mailbox. What other sketchy things could this "gentleman" be doing that his voice mail is full and you only hear from him while under the influence. This guy always seems to somehow get pissed off when you decline his advances and stay in your own bed. DON'T sell yourself short of what you deserve and its not him.
Finally in this edition I feel like honoring the easy lay. The recyclable and reusable ex that degrades themselves to your every whim. You call this fellow up and he's at your door in the blink of an eye. This guy has no self-respect and tries to forever get you back into a carebear relationship. He will even cry and degrade himself in front of you. DON'T date a pussy ladies. You already have your own, you don't need a second.
This is coming from a lady who is completely straight and loves the cock. So Strictly Dickly is the way to be for me.
In signing out I only have these words of wisdom
"Lollipop, Lollipop, oh Lolly, Lolly, Lolly... LOLLYPOP"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)