Thoughts of Forgiveness

Oh come all ye faithful...

lyrics to an age old classic. One that is sung year after year after year. This is how I view the holidays. A period of time that is destined to happen for as long as tradition welcomes it.

When I was a little girl Christmas was this big thing. All I could think about was being super good so that Santa would visit. And ironically at this time I would be awake in bed staring at my clock. I would only give my parents until 5:30-6:00 AM at the latest to sleep. Then I would run downstairs in my pink jammys. My mom remains to this day my holiday spirit. She trims every tree and spends hours making each ornament and light pefect. It is her love for us that is the drive.


Speaking of love, I am happy to report that it does exsist and frankly it always has. I think sometimes we act too proud for our own good.

While I can not claim to be content in my life. There are many things that I need to work on and fix. I can say that the people that mater to me are here and I do love and appreciate their constant support.

I know I can be difficult to deal with. I know that I can turn away from people. I know that I can cut them out. And sometimes I have no legitimate reason to do so. I never claimed to be a perfect person. I am still trying to find my way just as much as the next woman out there. I also know this will be a lifelong persuit. So in writing this blog I want to take a minute and remember those that have been important in my life. And even those that are not that close anymore. Each person that ever comes in contact with me is a-part of my story. And whatever their role they make a difference.

I also want to think that in the coming year I will be more forgiving myself. Because I still believe one of the greatest gifts is being able to forgive. Something that I was thinking about the other night was that sometimes it seems harder to forgive someone you love then someone you barely know. I think this is true in that we tend to hold those close to us to higher standards. We hope that if we choose to show who we really are they won't do things to hurt us. The reality is those that are close to us and love us will probably cause us the most pain. And I'm ok with that. A true exsistance is one with character.

Christmas is a perfect time to write about how one feels. The whole season screams love and emotions. And as this Barbie knows it's the time to create the perfect kodak moment. *Smiles*



"You better watch out... better not cry... Santa Claus is coming to town!"