You know that feeling that you get when you look around a room and everything seems completely in place except a big wad of trash in the can. And no matter what you do to ignore it there is an urge to rid yourself of the ugliness and restore order and balance. Some call this ‘Spring Cleaning.’ Out with the old in with the new mentality. I view this scenario as a metaphor for dealing with relationships. People change. And this change can either bring you closer to a person, or cause a nuclear explosion that decimates all emotions and leaves you a lifeless body with no soul. (Well life does go on, but not a satisfying existence.)
If you refer to my first post in 2008 I predicted some pretty life-changing events this year. And true to Sassy form I have lived up to the expectations. I have had some quality time to find myself and guide my changes in a positive way. More importantly I have embraced the concept of taking out the garbage and ridding myself of unnecessary downers and distractions.
Sometimes I feel a little lost. Sometimes I feel a little timid. For a while I felt that my happiness should come from solving other people’s problems. You can be many things to a person, but you can not be their everything. You can not change them, or mold them, or even tell them what to do.
What you can do is love you. You can feel like you have self-worth and that *YOU* matter. The sooner that you can be at peace with YOU, the sooner you can be a person that people respect and want around.
You can never really get rid of the past. It will always be a part of who you are and something that has shaped you one way or the other. And even though there are things you might wish you had done differently, all is not lost. It is high time to live in the present and here and now.
My advice… take out your own personal trash. Fall is the perfect time to clear the ole’ slate and start over. Think about all the trees who will shed old leaves (old habits) to make room for new leaves (new and better habits).
That is life. Be a tree. Be prepared to accept the change and to welcome it with an open heart. Some of the best things in life come when you just let go.
“When making the fire people like to join you, when cleaning the ashes you are often alone”
African Proverb
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You certainly can't change other people-- I have learned that the hard way countless times. Hell, you can't even always change yourself. Self-improvement requires contemplation (i.e., the WILL to change) and strategy, first and foremost. Then WORK. Perserverence. The acceptance and realization that the big stuff doesn't happen overnight.
God knows I've been trying to change myself for the past four years, and only now are things really starting to come together.
Accept other people as they are, and leave them behind if it's not what you want. You can only change yourself. And if what you see in the mirror is not what you desire for yourself, there is always room for improvement.
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