Oh Women!

As one of my classy and refined role models, Sher, from Clueless boldly states “I’m surfing the crimson wave.” Amazing how an east coast Barbie can partake in an all-inclusive female worldwide extravaganza. In light of this oh so mood altering occasion I would like to take the opportunity to fire my uterus.

I think most of us would agree that the essence of womanhood requires an extraordinary amount of patience. But, some of us don’t want to surf anymore. This lady would revel in a life void of recurring bodily sporting events. It’s like every month or so some agitated egg (not given the chance to blossom into mini me) wreaks havoc. I’m convinced it takes on a very aggressive and hostile personality. Obviously a laid-back sweetheart, my temple will not tolerate violence. Kicking and screaming the whole way my number one enemy is expelled.

This process leaves me tired, annoyed, and in diapers. Well, I think dear reader you get the gist.

Women deserve to be treated like the amazing people that they are. The pure determination and persistence in exsisting within a body that wears and tears month in and month out is something to write home about. Is it too much to ask for a little understanding? For a little compassion? For the intelligence to keep ones mouth shut at all times?

Let’s face it. Women are a big deal. And this simple fact becomes lost in the utter disrespect our younger generations have for one another. I am no ones ‘Bitch.’ If I wanted to be a female dog I might just have to stab myself in the arm with a pencil, ensue lead poisoning, physically die… and then will myself to reincarnate into a pit-bull… so I could then sink my jaws straight into the ass of the offender who started me on this downward spiral.

Wake up World. It’s time to bring the R back into R E S P E C T! My advice, find some wonderful woman, some stressed out looks like her eyes are bulging straight out of her head real woman, and say ‘Thank you for being you!”


“Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.” ~Lorraine Hansberry