Sushi and Welcoming 2010 my Year!

It has been my experience that Sushi really brings people together. Just think about it. Sushi is exotic. It is far from the norm, and certainly out of most peoples comfort zones. Sushi is flavorful. Sushi is unique. Sushi has textures that blow your mouth away. When you can find someone that gets past the fear of raw fish, you find wonder and idealism and an all and all genuine budding friend.

Sushi has become so much more to me. It is a metaphor for my life. Accepting that wild and spontaneous allure of a dish is choosing to accept that wild and spontaneous person in me. I do not claim to be a run of the mill woman. Sure I hold traditional values, but I can be as unpredictable as each hand crafted sushi roll. I am a mouthful. Since there is so much of me offered, so many flavors to discover, I attempt to be openly opinionated and outspoken with the goal of filling palates with a sense of joy. And I believe that a meal of my caliber shows great judgment of character.

Just a few months ago a simple sushi moment in time occurred awakening a part of me I had buried. My heart felt warm and fuller. And now as I sit and document my stream of consciousness I couldn’t ask to be in a better place.



2010 is proving to be a very promising year. I might even venture to say that it’s my year. There is no major landmark age to look forward to. No major sporting event to partake in. No life-changing moment that I foresee. All of this is a great omen. Drama is pushed to the backburner and I have time to focus on my relationships that matter. I can nurture and cherish these special people. One of them being me.

For the past few years I have been very closed off. I built the wall of China around my giving nature. I had defenses on high alert and didn’t allow people to scratch the surface of who I was. My failed relationships proved to me that time and work created a huge let-down. Whenever I got scared (and this was often) it was time to count on the only person I could, me. I pushed people far away. I wanted them out of my life, but any means possible. So I removed myself. I stopped calling, emailing, what have you. The easiest way to make a person forget you is to have them angry with you. I became the last person they probably wanted to talk to.

I am not meant to be alone. But that’s what I created. And I became angry with myself for sabotaging opportunity after opportunity. Mix in some of the difficulties of life and the shell of a person I didn’t want to be became me. I have never had an out of body experience for a near death. However I did experience something of that nature around Christmas. I broke through that shell, cracked it right on open and saw me standing there all shiny, new, and smiling.

Ever since that moment I have cherished every day that I wake up. My sun is a little brighter. My mood is just a little bit happier. My world is worth it. For so long I have been suppressing that side of me that is vulnerable, the side that loves unconditionally, that side that understands a true blessing and fights to accept and appreciate it no matter what challenges arise. I am mostly positive, still fiery and passionate, but have a real zest for life.

So back to my Sushi Metaphor. It is absolutely amazing what this moment in time has done for me. There is not one day that I am not extremely thankful to feel this way for someone. We may not be perfect, but I have no doubt in my mind that this is exactly what I was looking for. Search is over! And that is the most comforting feeling that could possibly exist.

"To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness." ~Robert Brault